Raleigh Soliloquy All Parts (1,2 & 3)
Taken from the album Robbin the Hood, by Sublime.
The album is full of fillers, instrumentals and 'Raleigh Soliloquies,' the rants of a mentally disturbed man named Raleigh Theodore Sakers. Raleigh Soliloquy Pt. III has Raleigh singing his interpretation of "You Don't Know What Love Is" by George Benson.
Raleigh Soliloquy All Parts (1,2 & 3)
=-=-
Part I: Rollie Theodore Sakers
We've got you in this fuckin' movie to exterminate all the lunitics
all at once with a filetering system of God. We're the psyco-
semantic police, you can't even see us. How in the fuck can you do
anything about it?
We're pure intellegence, your not. Your biological product of a
comological universe. Your molecular matter, I constructed you, fuck
you.
I made you up, you didn't make me up, you got it backwards. You know
who you are?
Your fuckin' semantic blockage, that's what made you up.
You're a fuckin' programer named Christine Gontara. You fucked up.
She sucked my cock, fell in love, and she was locked in. She's gonna
get her second chance to suck my cock again. If she turns me down, she's
gonna go striaght to hell, she won't pass go, she'll never fuckin'
win.
She's the cunt that thought she was God, but that's OK, I don't give a shit.
As long as she sucks me off when I tell her. 'Cause she's my zombie.
I capured that mother fucker, and she's my cassette. I want that
cock sucker to send me at least fifty-thousand fuckin' dollars. If
she can't do it I'll try ten. If she can't do that, I'll try five,
but that's it.
If you got a dowry of five thousand dollars, come out here and suck
me off, do what I tell you from now on, then you can join me for
eternal time.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Part II: Rollie Theodore Sakers
Raleigh:] You went for line drawings and you fucked up you fuckin'
idiot. You brain-washed yourself you mother fuckin' stupid cock
suckers, because you never studied your Holy Homework. That's two
capital H's there, all the rest are lower case in any fuckin' case.
Supreme Court, you are not the fucking Supreme Court of anything,
except Hell! For the next ten thousand years you will shovel your
shit and eat it, because your on repeat mother fucker. It just
started backwards and you can't do a fuckin' thing about it. The
public are gonna take back every fuckin' thing that you took away
from them you mother fucker.
[Security Guard:] Raleigh.
[Raleigh:] Yes.
[Guard:] This is the deal.
[Raleigh:] Yes, what is the deal?
[Guard:] You either cool it down right now...
[Raleigh:] Or your gonna fuckin die!
[Guard:] ...your outta here.
[Raleigh:] Oh, your gonna put me out? Well I ain't leavin' mother
fucker. Now what are you gonna do, what are you gonna do to this
little kid? Eh?
[Guard:] Your gonna go to the psyche ward.
[Raleigh:] Well good, that's where I wanna go.
[Guard:] Yea, your gonna be right there. So you better cool it down.
You better cool it down right now, I don't want to hear anything
else out of this room or you are gonna go to the psyche ward. This
is your last opportunity.
[Raleigh:] Yea, OK, get it. Let's go.
[Guard:] Shut your fuckin' mouth.
[Raleigh:] all right .
[Guard:] And don't make anymore waves in the house. Otherwise you'r
going to the psyche ward.
[Raleigh:] Well, thats exactly what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna go to
the psyke ward and so I'm gonna shoot my fuckin' mouth off, so get
out of here. Your cutting into my commercial.
[Guard:] You understand?
[Raleigh:] I'm making a fuckin' commercial, I'm a businessman! Get
out of here! Your trying to get in on this fuckin' thing, you ain't
no star asshole, your just a fuckin' errand boy.
[Guard:] Your the craziest son of a bitch I ever...
[Raleigh:] Exactly...I'm an American!
[Guard:] This is the last warning Raleigh.
[Raleigh:] Good, Shut Up!
[background laughter]
[Guard:] Anymore out of you and your going to the psyche ward.
[Raleigh:] See, you lie. You don't eat your feedback.
[Guard:] You need to understand that, as long as you understand
that, that's the rules Raleigh.
[Raleigh:]Whoever comes in this fuckin' room, I'm gonna fuckin' kill
em! That's what I gonna do.
[Guard:] Oh are ya? I'm in your room Raleigh.
[Raleigh:] Well you've come in against...this is my room.
[Guard:] I'm in your room, I'm in you room, I'm in your room.
[Raleigh:] Back out, back out, back out. Words don't bother me man,
actions do.
[Guard:] Let's do it, go for it dude.
[Raleigh:] Well if you come at me your gonna fuckin' die!
[Guard:] Go for it.
[Raleigh:] I ain't going for nothing, you fuckin' reach for me and
I'm gonna take your arm off.
[Guard:] Come on. Come on! [Raleigh:] I ain't comin, you come.
[Guard:] Cool it Raleigh. You understand that? You got it? Either
you cool it or your out of here, that's the only choice you have.
[Raleigh:] Try it.
[Guard:] Your gone dude.
[Raleigh:] Who's gonna enforce it? Call the cops mutherfucker! Call
the cops.
[Guard:] You got witnesses right now?
[Raleigh:] No witnesses, call the fucking cops! I'll call the
fuckin' cops on you, you cocksucker, right now.
[Guard:] Good.
[Raleigh:] 911 - Just like that, and you will never get out of this.
[Guard:] Good. Come on.
[Raleigh:] I would like an emergency call please, there's a
psychopathic trying to kill me in my fuckin' room, now get them cops
over here to 1-2-3-O-9 Ventura Street please. He is standing in my
door, I told him to get out of here, and he tells me he's gonna put
me in the psycho-tank, for making my production here. Which is a
science fiction magazine! And he's trying to scare me 'cause he
thinks he's big, but he's just a big pile of shit! 'Cause I'll
splatter him all over the fuckin' wall. I hope you record all that.
That's a pre-programming for the police department! And send 'em
over here, 'cause I'm about to kill him in two seconds. Now get 'em
over here as fast as you can please. I hope your recording this.
Raleigh:] You went for line drawings and you fucked up you fuckin'
idiot. You brain-washed yourself you mother fuckin' stupid cock
suckers, because you never studied your Holy Homework. That's two
capital H's there, all the rest are lower case in any fuckin' case.
Supreme Court, you are not the fucking Supreme Court of anything,
except Hell! For the next ten thousand years you will shovel your
shit and eat it, because your on repeat mother fucker. It just
started backwards and you can't do a fuckin' thing about it. The
public are gonna take back every fuckin' thing that you took away
from them you mother fucker.
[Security Guard:] Raleigh.
[Raleigh:] Yes.
[Guard:] This is the deal.
[Raleigh:] Yes, what is the deal?
[Guard:] You either cool it down right now...
[Raleigh:] Or your gonna fuckin die!
[Guard:] ...your outta here.
[Raleigh:] Oh, your gonna put me out? Well I ain't leavin' mother
fucker. Now what are you gonna do, what are you gonna do to this
little kid? Eh?
[Guard:] Your gonna go to the psyche ward.
[Raleigh:] Well good, that's where I wanna go.
[Guard:] Yea, your gonna be right there. So you better cool it down.
You better cool it down right now, I don't want to hear anything
else out of this room or you are gonna go to the psyche ward. This
is your last opportunity.
[Raleigh:] Yea, OK, get it. Let's go.
[Guard:] Shut your fuckin' mouth.
[Raleigh:] all right .
[Guard:] And don't make anymore waves in the house. Otherwise you'r
going to the psyche ward.
[Raleigh:] Well, thats exactly what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna go to
the psyke ward and so I'm gonna shoot my fuckin' mouth off, so get
out of here. Your cutting into my commercial.
[Guard:] You understand?
[Raleigh:] I'm making a fuckin' commercial, I'm a businessman! Get
out of here! Your trying to get in on this fuckin' thing, you ain't
no star asshole, your just a fuckin' errand boy.
[Guard:] Your the craziest son of a bitch I ever...
[Raleigh:] Exactly...I'm an American!
[Guard:] This is the last warning Raleigh.
[Raleigh:] Good, Shut Up!
[background laughter]
[Guard:] Anymore out of you and your going to the psyche ward.
[Raleigh:] See, you lie. You don't eat your feedback.
[Guard:] You need to understand that, as long as you understand
that, that's the rules Raleigh.
[Raleigh:]Whoever comes in this fuckin' room, I'm gonna fuckin' kill
em! That's what I gonna do.
[Guard:] Oh are ya? I'm in your room Raleigh.
[Raleigh:] Well you've come in against...this is my room.
[Guard:] I'm in your room, I'm in you room, I'm in your room.
[Raleigh:] Back out, back out, back out. Words don't bother me man,
actions do.
[Guard:] Let's do it, go for it dude.
[Raleigh:] Well if you come at me your gonna fuckin' die!
[Guard:] Go for it.
[Raleigh:] I ain't going for nothing, you fuckin' reach for me and
I'm gonna take your arm off.
[Guard:] Come on. Come on! [Raleigh:] I ain't comin, you come.
[Guard:] Cool it Raleigh. You understand that? You got it? Either
you cool it or your out of here, that's the only choice you have.
[Raleigh:] Try it.
[Guard:] Your gone dude.
[Raleigh:] Who's gonna enforce it? Call the cops mutherfucker! Call
the cops.
[Guard:] You got witnesses right now?
[Raleigh:] No witnesses, call the fucking cops! I'll call the
fuckin' cops on you, you cocksucker, right now.
[Guard:] Good.
[Raleigh:] 911 - Just like that, and you will never get out of this.
[Guard:] Good. Come on.
[Raleigh:] I would like an emergency call please, there's a
psychopathic trying to kill me in my fuckin' room, now get them cops
over here to 1-2-3-O-9 Ventura Street please. He is standing in my
door, I told him to get out of here, and he tells me he's gonna put
me in the psycho-tank, for making my production here. Which is a
science fiction magazine! And he's trying to scare me 'cause he
thinks he's big, but he's just a big pile of shit! 'Cause I'll
splatter him all over the fuckin' wall. I hope you record all that.
That's a pre-programming for the police department! And send 'em
over here, 'cause I'm about to kill him in two seconds. Now get 'em
over here as fast as you can please. I hope your recording this.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Part III: Rollie Theodore Sakers
You guys dont know what love is.....
"starts singin"
Lets see whats happenind
Sex is startin up that thing again...yeaaaaah
Well we can stop that thing anytime we want..lets do it..
"" * Track 22 includes several hidden tracks including an alternate
version of "Don't Push" and an untitled dub song that includes
snippets of "Boss D.J." The original Skunk Records release also
contains a cover of Mudhoney's "The Farther I Go," which was removed
from the Gasoline Alley/MCA re-release for legal reasons. ""
=-=-
"starts singin"
Lets see whats happenind
Sex is startin up that thing again...yeaaaaah
Well we can stop that thing anytime we want..lets do it..
"" * Track 22 includes several hidden tracks including an alternate
version of "Don't Push" and an untitled dub song that includes
snippets of "Boss D.J." The original Skunk Records release also
contains a cover of Mudhoney's "The Farther I Go," which was removed
from the Gasoline Alley/MCA re-release for legal reasons. ""
=-=-
