News From Jamaica: Rastafari Accused of Molesting Goats ( bah - hahahhh )

Police in Spaldings, Jamaica, are appealing for witnesses after a Rastafari was spotted hovering around a goat’s rear end on Friday.

A police constable and two other witnesses spotted the dodgy looking Rasta standing behind the she-goat with his shirt suspiciously un-tucked from his trousers. When the copper shouted to the Rastaman to clarify what he was doing, the Dread turned on his heels and scarpered sharpish.

Police managed to find the Rastafari the following day (Saturday), and questioned him about why he ran. The Rastaman explained that he only ran because he was smoking a marijuana cigarette and thought he would be in bother for it.

A witness came forward later that day to say they had seen the Rasta having sex with the goat, and the goats owner says that after examining his goats vagina he’s convinced someone has been having nookie with it. ( bah - hahahhh )

“The goat was examined by the owner and it was discovered that the vagina was swollen and had some bloody substance coming out of it.” The witness told the Jamaica Star

“Dem man ya fi chase out of our community. We do not want any goat molesters in our community, because we want to know that the mutton we are buying to consume is clean,” the angry citizen furthered.

The witnesses have yet to make official police statements, once they have been officially interviewed the Rastaman will be charged with bestiality.

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