Thursday, March 17, 2011

Boston: Fautly & Flawed light fixtures & concrete in Big Dig tunnel

State says some light fixtures in Big Dig tunnels are flawed

A 110-pound light fixture fell from the ceiling of a Big Dig tunnel in early February, prompting state officials to launch an inspection that has found corrosion at the base of some of the clips that affix other light fixtures to the tunnels.
"We learned that this is a relatively isolated incident, but it's something that we're taking very seriously,'' State Transportation Secretary Jeffrey B. Mullan told reporters at a briefing this afternoon.

"There is no question in my mind that the tunnels are robust and safe for the traveling public,'' Mullan said. "We've done an individual inspection of each of the lighting fixtures that is over the travelway, and we know that they are secured adequately and that the tunnel is safe."
The fixture that fell in the northbound O'Neill tunnel crashed to the ground between two travel lanes on the morning of Feb. 8. No one was injured.

"What we initially did was we tried to get an idea of what was happening, and when we thought we had enough information to inform the public of the situation, we're disclosing the information,'' he said. "I wanted to have a better idea of what exactly we were dealing with -- whether or not this was an isolated situation or more of a systemic issue.''

Transportation Department officials said there are 23,000 fluorescent lights throughout the tunnels, held in place by 230,000 stainless steel clips that grip aluminum rails. The light fixtures are eight feet long, and less than a foot wide.

Mullan said state officials believe that a powder coating on the rails, when combined with salt and moisture from the roadways, caused corrosion on some of the aluminum rails. He said the state has inspected 95 percent of all light fixtures, including every light fixture that is over a travelway, and found problems with the aluminum rail at about 3,000 of the fixture clips. At each corroded rail, the state has made a temporary fix by sliding the clips to a non-corroded area; the state is working on a longer-term fix.

The state said the corrosion was most common at the light fixtures nearest the tunnel's entrances.
The light fixtures and their frames were manufactured by a California-based company called NuArt Lighting, Mullan said. He said the state has contacted the company to see if its warranty is still valid. Mullan said the light fixtures cost tens of millions of dollars; he could not be more specific. He also could not say how much it will cost to repair the fixtures.
"At this point, we are going to reserve all of our available remedies,'' he said. "We're going to pursue any avenues we have in cost recovery.''

The Big Dig tunnels, whose cost ballooned to $15 billion from $2 billion over the course of the project, have had design and construction problems before. In July 2006, five years after the last of the tunnels opened to traffic, Milena Del Valle, 38, of Jamaica Plain, was killed when a section of the ceiling in the Connector Tunnel fell on a car in which she was a passenger, headed to Logan International Airport. Her husband survived the accident.

The ceiling collapse led then-Governor Mitt Romney to force Massachusetts Turnpike Authority Matthew Amorello out of office, and prompted what state officials said was a “stem-to-stern” inspection of the Big Dig tunnels.

Mullan said the "stem-to-stern" inspection was a visual inspection that did not identify the problem with the light fixtures.

The companies that oversaw the Big Dig, Bechtel and Parsons Brinckerhoff, ultimately paid the state $400 million to settle claims of shoddy workmanship, including a 2004 episode in which a breach in the wall sent water gushing into the O'Neill tunnel. It was later revealed that the tunnel was riddled with leaks in its roof. In 2008, the Del Valle family received about $28 million in a settlement with the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority, Bechtel, Parsons/Brickerhoff and other Big Dig contractors.

The Turnpike Authority, which managed the Big Dig until 2009, acknowledged in 2007 that hundreds of leaks remained and that plugged leaks were regularly reopening.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Break Up - The Dreams & Nightmares - Insomnia & Sleep Apnea or Narcolepsy

Sleep apnea and narcolepsy are both sleep disorders. At night, sleep apnea and narcolepsy inhibit rapid eye movement (R.E.M) sleep, prompting overwhelming daytime drowsiness. Sufferers of sleep apnea and narcolepsy frequently dose off during the day, creating dangerous driving and working conditions.

People with sleep apnea intermittently and spontaneously stop breathing at night. This chokes off oxygen to the brain, causing the sleeper to abruptly awaken. It is not uncommon for sufferers of sleep apnea to awaken 400 to 800 times a night because they have stopped breathing; the tendency creates a high risk for nighttime heart attacks. While most return to sleep quickly, the quality of sleep is poor and leaves the affected person feeling unrested or feeling like they have not slept at all. As many as four in 10 people live with sleep apnea.

Narcolepsy is not as typical as sleep apnea; fewer than one in 10 people have this sleep disorder. Due to its rarity, narcolepsy is often not diagnosed quickly or accurately. Reports state that many people who develop narcolepsy as children spend decades without being formally diagnosed. This neurological condition is often hereditary.

Other sleeping abnormalities may accompany narcolepsy. Sleep paralysis is one possible side effect of narcolepsy; this fleeting paralysis prevents a person from moving for several seconds or minutes even if they are fully awake and conscious. Another anomaly associated with narcolepsy is cataplexy, which creates scenarios where persons who are awake may suddenly fall to the ground because they are so lethargic they lack the power to exert control over their muscles. Dream deprivation may cause narcoleptics to dream while they are awake, resulting in hallucinations.


Daily performance is frequently impaired in people with sleep apnea and narcolepsy. The lack of sleep may reduce memory and mental clarity. As a consequence, decision-making and professional output may suffer. Physical ailments like stress and hypertension are also common among sufferers of sleep apnea and narcolepsy. Those with these disorders may be more prone to disease and infection because the sleep deficits tend to weaken the immune system.

Behavior therapy and medication can treat both sleep apnea and narcolepsy. People with narcolepsy often use stimulants and sodiumoxybate for treatment; lifestyle changes like arranging daytime naps are also recommended by doctors. Patients with sleep apnea are often advised to reduce their weight since excess fat is one contributing factor for the disorder. Throat and jaw surgery to augment airways to increase oxygen flow at night is typically used for extreme cases where apnea’s tendency to halt breathing can cause death.

Break Up - The Dreams & Nightmares: What are Hypnagogic Hallucinations?

Hypnagogic hallucinations are hallucinations which occur at the boundary between sleeping and waking. They can occur when people are falling asleep, or when they are starting to wake up, and they tend to be extremely vivid, feeling like a Technicolor Oz after the black and white Kansas of every day life. Many people experience hypnagogic hallucinations at some point during their lives, but recurrent intensehallucinations can be a sign of an underlying medical condition which may require treatment.

Visual, auditory, tactile, and kinetic sensations can all be experienced during hypnagogic hallucinations, and everyone experiences slightly different forms. Some people, for example, may feel like they are falling, and jerk themselves awake to avoid hitting the ground. Others mayhear voices as they are trying to drift off to sleep, or experience a vivid sensation that someone or something is in the room. Sensory experiences such as feeling like one is submerged in a pool of water are also not uncommon.

In some cases, hypnagogic hallucinations can be frightening for the people who experience them. They may include vivid and frightening images, including images which are out of scale, which can make the hallucinations seem even more unsettling; people may see giant spiders on the walls, for example, or feel like they have shrunk down to a tiny size in the bed. The vivid experiences may also be brought to mind over the course of the day, causing inexplicable images or sensations to filter through someones consciousness at an unexpected moment.

The cause of hypnagogic hallucinations is not fully understood. These hallucinations tend to be more common in people with sleep disorders, especially narcolepsy, but they can also appear as a side effect related to prescription drugs, and drug abusers often experience them as well. Hypnagogic hallucinations tend to be more common in young people, especially children, which may be because their minds are still developing and forming pathways, which can occasionally lead to some crossed wires.

=-Comments
Reader Writes:
 I'm 19 and just got my first of these. I've had two now, and at first I've been freaking out about them. A lot of these posts I've seen say they have interesting visions of just patterns and stuff. But mine have been very freaky. i think its due to my stress in life. I just recently broke up with my girlfriend of three years and its been really tough.
My first hallucination was that she was there lying next to me. This wasn't frightening though, just very weird i thought. i talked to her and went back to bed. But just recently i had the most scary experience of my life. I "woke up" from my dream and went outside my bedroom and went into my friend's room and there i was hit with a sudden wave of blackness and collapsed to the floor. It felt so real and as this happened, i felt like i wasn't myself. So i tried to wake myself up but i would come back to my real self in bed and couldn't move. i was literally petrified in my bed. Which freaked me out but then i would be back in my dream and i ran to wake myself up but once i got back into my bedroom i was stuck again by this darkness that killed me. I watched myself die from my sleeping self. So i woke up again this time in real life and freaked out, thinking i just died.
I don't know – it's really hard to explain, and it's freaking me out. I hope these go away.

The same shit happens to me, I it is worse, but I seem not to be too frightened until recently.  I have recently split up with my fiance of ten years.  We had grown apart and her perception of me was that of the abused, she believed me to be mentally abusing her.  Without going off track I will say that her secrets had caused much resentment within me, and as a result a blockade towards her.  So there is a lot of guilt leftover within me and the questions, all unanswered.  No sure understanding of the cause or effect in the past year of our "love".  She kept everything and the dogs.  I now live across the world from my family and friends and although content, have made a massive sacrifice in vain, unseen for years and years.  

I have been single for 6 months, and certainly have moved on successfully in some areas of life.  I can go to sleep and wake up without thinking of her, but there are interruptions.  

I have had problems with violent dreams, traumatic and horrific dreams, some of which actually manifested themselves or rather,... really fucking happened scene for scene.  As a child I was frequently waking up screaming or swinging and flailing my arms or punching etc.  There were dreams which appeared to be in a series and sometimes wouldn't occur again for years, but I certainly had no mistake when they came back.  

So after this break up I was damaged, still am a bit too.  More applicable, I was severely depressed and lonely.  All the usual stresses were engaged in life.  I would have these dreams and sometimes there would be a good week, with enough distractions to keep my mind off her and the big situation I was now faced with. After all, everything in my life was now foreign and new and unknown.  All life plans were abolished in one day.. I was still in shock.


The dreams had developed into something which began about 90 mins after I fell asleep and was so traumatic and never racking I would wake up in 2 or less hours.  The scenarios were either good or bad in the dream state. When I say "good" I mean that the depiction was that of a break up recovery, making amens, or fixing everything and getting back together.  Enjoying past times, vividly, my dogs growing moments, engagements on the islands, etc.  When I say bad, I mean cheating, sex, fights, chasing her, searching for her, stalking her, seeing her in distress and I am helpless.    
Either way they were horrible dreams, I would wake up sweating, heart racing and covered in tears, at times with no recollection of the dream content itself and would simply be aware I was alive.  I was alive, but completely helpless and terrified of my own reality and tormented by my surreal dreams.  

I have had some pretty good 'moving on' time since the initial break up and I putting things back together, slowly and it is very well... extremely difficult and testing on my will to persevere.   As for the sleeplessness and insomnia, I have got that to a minimum threat, but certain elements still haunt me. 

As of recent I have been falling asleep briefly while watching
films or after dinner while lounging, and it is in these times that the haunting returns.  I have l have lucid and vivid dreams, almost hallucinations or delusions in real time, in the live environment.  I will pass to sleep and within moments (under15 mins), I am in the same room, enjoying the present activity, and she is there or here with me.  It soon escalated as well to an emotional state.  It always seems to involve some self perceptions or view of  myself. I will make a facial expression or express a feeling, in response or towards her in these scenarios, and it is so live I reach out to hug her or kiss her and then I awake.  At times I have fallen out of bed, grabbed a bundled blanket or jumped out of bed happily laughing etc.  The key to this current state is her side of the situation.  I appreciate and did appreciate the way she understood me, knew me and loved me.  This is the element I really, truly miss the most and it is most relevant here in my dreams.  I see her there in front of me, and we are in love, sharing positive thoughts and stories and expressing our unconditional love for one another when.... SMASH I wake up and it'sall too real once again and she is still gone forever.

This is fucked up, and a shame overall.  There is no chance for me to fix things in realtime and I have no closure on the causes.  I cannot make any headway in contacting her for closure, her mind is still set on her new way of yoga living and her artificial discovery of herself as a ' free woman'.  It is this factor which, I believe, fuels these night terrors.

Is it a case of "Hypnagogic Hallucinations"?






Break Up - Ways to Stop Obsessing About Your Ex-Girlfriend or Ex-Boyfriend

You’ve been through a relationship breakup, and now you can’t control your obsessive thoughts about your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend! This breakup advice includes practical ways to stop obsessing about a lost love, based on a question from a reader.  
Here’s what he said on my How to Let Go of Someone You Love article:
“I still seem to be obsessing about my ex. She crowds into my thoughts a dozen times a day. I’m trying my best to forget about her, but, despite what I’ve read and the advice I’ve gotten, I CAN’T GET HER OUT OF MY HEAD! I feel like I’m going through my days as half a person, with nothing ahead of me but regrets about what might have been….how do I stop my thoughts?”
Obsessing about your ex can be a normal part of breaking up – but if those thoughts are overpowering or overwhelming, then you need to find a way to take control. Below are six ways to stop obsessing about your ex. For more breakup advice, read Obsessive Love: When It Hurts Too Much to Let Go.
Ways to Stop Obsessing About Your Ex-Girlfriend or Ex-Boyfriend
Different people will find different ways to control obsessive thoughts effective…and the only way to learn what works for you is to try the one that most resonates with you first. If that doesn’t work after a couple of weeks, then try another technique.
Remember the dog-and-vomit analogy. I read There Is a Season by Patrick Lane, about his journey through addiction and recovery. He said thinking about terrible things in the past is like a dog returning to his own vomit (or something to that effect). I love this analogy, and use it when I start berating myself for something I regret doing. Instead of indulging in self-flagellation, I tell myself that I’m not a dog and I refuse to go back to my own vomit…and I then think “Eeewwww…” and I move on! This is a very practical, effective way to stop obsessing about a breakup. It can also work for addictive relationships.




Visit her site for more great advice and self help suggestions.

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Break Up - Dream Interpretation - Dreaming of your ex - Lucid Dreams

                    About Dreams of Exes, and the Meaning of a Former Partner in a Dream
    A dream about an ex should be interpreted symbolically rather than literally. Learn more about the ever-common ex dream symbol and ex dream interpretations.






  The dream ex typically stands for a situation or a time period that the dreamer associates with the ex in the dream. Careful analysis of the ex as a symbol, waking life associations with the ex, and feelings the ex dream evokes yields accurate interpretation of the ex dream

Ex Dreams as Mirrors of Waking Life

If waking life has dealt the dreamer a break-up blow, then it’s obviously likely that the dream really is a mirror of waking life. Sometimes an ex dream is quite pleasant, with the dreamer enjoying the "company" of the former girlfriend, former boyfriend, ex-husband or ex-wife. Sometimes ex dreams are nightmarish nocturnal rehash of the pain, anger, and heartbreak of waking life.
Emotions always run high during and after a break-up, with many people left feeling that a part of the self has actually gone missing. Whether pleasant or painful, break-up dreams are one way the psyche heals itself. Comfortable dreams about a former partner can satisfy waking life wishes unlikely to manifest. Uncomfortable ex dreams help discharge waking life pain that may be overwhelming the dreamer.

Dreaming About an Ex as Wish Fulfillment

Too many times dreamers involved in break-ups get their hopes up when their ex dreams are filled with joyful imagery and feelings. Almost all over-the-top happy ex dreams occurring near a break-up are wish fulfillment dreams.
Wish fulfillment dreams are those dreams wherein the psyche attempts to compensate for unfulfilled waking life desires. Approaching a ex from a neutral point of view is especially important during a recent break-up so the dreamer does not unwittingly prolong pain with unrealistic expectations.

Interpreting a Dream Ex Symbolically

People often associate an ex with that ex’s career. They often report that their former partner was a mechanic, therapist, farmer, doctor, skydiver, etc. One way to interpret a dream symbolically is to amplify the ex’s career as a dream symbol.
A bad or finished relationship doesn’t preclude the person appearing as a positive symbol. For example, if the ex was a farmer, she could actually symbolize growth and the careful cultivation of something healthier than the relationship was. An ex who was a doctor could symbolize healing. A former partner who was a mechanicmight mean the dreamer feels something needs fixing.

The Importance of Situations, Circumstances and Surroundings in Ex Dreams

Exes are also remembered via the situations, circumstances and surroundings shared during waking life. Dreams use the past to communicate about the present. A dream ex might actually be a stand in for past situation that feels like a present event.
The dreamer should see if other dream symbols point to a specific time in the relationship as that will help pinpoint to what past time point the psyche is referring. If there is a specific circumstance the dreamer automatically associates with his ex, he will want to take a close look at his life for past parallels.
Similarly, a dream about an ex can also be an expression for present emotions. Again, these emotions need not be painful. However, if the dream does elicit unpleasant emotions, the dreamer should see if there is a parallel to a present waking life relationship. Patterns, most especially relationship patterns, are often repeated. Even negative patterns are lived out again and again. The dreamer is advised to look very carefully to see if she is living out a life she doesn’t truly desire.

Interpreting the Feelings an Ex Dream Elicits

Sometimes a dream about an ex leaves the one with an odd sense of calm and peace. Even when the dreamer hasn’t communicated with or thought of an ex for years, he may dream of her and be left usually content in the morning. Even the exes with whom the dreamer had terrible relations with can manage to conjure congenial dream feelings.
Pleasant ex dreams can indicate something as simple as finally gaining closure. However, a deeper meaning of the peaceful dream is reclamation of the self and more self-integration since the ex may symbolize the anima/animus archetype. The anima is the female part of the male psyche; the animus is the male part of the female psyche. A pleasant ex dream can mean that the dreamer has assimilated that which she had previously kept at bay.
Similarly, the ex-partner might stand in for an attribute or talent unacknowledged, suppressed, or forgotten. A dream of cuddling up to that writer ex-boyfriend might mean that dreamer has reclaimed or is developing the very gift that the ex symbolizes.
While a dream about an ex can feature a former partner that symbolizes him/herself, this is unlikely unless unless the dreamer is going through or has recently suffered a break-up. The former partner is usually a symbolic dream image rather than literal representation. As tempting as if may be to interpret a dream about an ex literally, the symbolic route is usually the best starting point.

Sources:
The Portable Jung by C. G. Jung
Flight of the Wild Gander: Explorations in the Mythological Dimension: Select Essays, 1944-1968 by Joseph Campbell
The Mythic Dimension: Selected Essays 1959-1987 by Joseph Campbell
Mysterium Coniunctionis: An Inquiry into the Separation and Synthesis of Psychic Opposites in Alchemy by C. G. Jung
Psychology and Alchemy (Collected Works of C.G. Jung Vol.12) by C. G. Jung


 





Break Up - Obsessive Ex Syndrome


After the Break-Up: When Not Letting Go Turns into Emotional Abuse

Obsessive Ex Can Bring Emotional Trauma - Morguefile.com
Obsessive Ex Can Bring Emotional Trauma -Morguefile.com


Some people are unable to mentally let go of a partner after a break-up. Stalking, calling, harassing, and sometimes threatening can take an emotiona
l toll on the victim

There are thousands of people who have stories to share about how their partner couldn't accept their relationship dissolving. Common complaints point at being followed, non-stop phone calls, text messages and in some extreme cases, threats of violence. The partner who can not let go can be categorized as suffering from "obsessive ex syndrome." Even though the origin of this term is not known, this syndrome is rampant.





Stages of Spousal Obsession
There are four stages of obsession, as follows:
Stage One: The groundwork is laid out for becoming obsessive during the relationship. The obsessive individual establishes their partner as a main symbol of who they are. Control issues erupt during the relationship and become a constant source of grief for the victim. Anne Woudstra, a social worker who has worked in this field, says that usually those who are the recipients of “heavy-duty” emotional abuse during a relationship may very well be those who end up with an obsessive ex.

Stage Two: When the emotionally abused partner decides enough is enough and wants to end the relationship, the "obsessor" will not accept this because he or she has lost control. They beg for another chance, cry, make promises to change or use any other tactic to convince their partner to change their mind. If the break-up occurs, the begging may intensify, or if the individual feels they're up against a wall, they'll toss out threats. False accusations may come out, attempts to turn children against the parent who decided on the break up also happens and turns into Parental Alienation Syndrome.

Stage Three: The obsessive ex tries to keep contacting their former partner via phone, texting, emails or through social media. Stalking takes the form of watching, following, spying and even constant monitoring of the former partners social media accounts.

Stage Four: This is when the obsessive ex becomes enraged and tries to threaten or intimidate the former partner to come back. Sometimes the threats are used against children to try to gain control. Threats can include anything from spreading false rumors through social media to actual threats of violence.

Why Does Obsessing over a Partner Occur?
There are primarily two forms of obsession. Revenge obsession is when the obsessive ex wants the partner who left to be punished for the pain the obsessive ex experiences. The obsessive ex may not feel love anymore, but the obsession is focused purely at making the other person's life miserable.

Attachment obsession is when the ex will stop at almost nothing to get their partner back. They want to recover the relationship and have things the way it used to be. In some cases, the ex may understand that things can't be the way there were, but they want some form of connection retained in order to feel they still have some control.

According to Anne Woudstra, MSW., she says that there are some individuals who exhibit both of these characteristics. The obsessive ex wants the relationship back but also wants their former partner punished for what happened.

Victims Need Help
If there is a person who feels they are a victim of an ex obsessor, do not take this lightly. Call a domestic abuse hotline to get information on how to seek protection.

In the United States: National Domestic Violence Abuse Hotline 1-800-799-7233

In Canada: Assaulted Women's Hotline 1-866-863-0511

Men, unfortunately, will find there are virtually no resources available to them when a woman is the obsessive ex. In Canada, call The Family of Men Support Society at 403-242-4077. In the United States, call The Domestic Abuse Hotline for Men at 1-877-643-1120.

Break Up - I Broke The No Contact Rule! Now What?

My Friend called me up the other day. “Nina, I Broke The No Contact Rule and I feel like a fool!” I was able to talk her off of the ledge. I knew exactly how she felt and I knew she would need some insight and comforting because she was beating herself up badly.  But not that long ago, I was in the same position she’s in and I bet you’re there right now too. Don’t worry. You are not alone and I will share with you what I did when I broke the No Contact Rule.

I Broke The No Contact Rule Too! So What! (Please Don’t Judge Me!)
I’ve always prided myself for having strong will power. If I was on a diet, I was always able to say no to that chocolate cake after dinner. I mean, you are talking to the will power queen. But I found myself reaching for the phone and texting my ex every hour on the hour just to say “Hi” after we broke up. I could not control myself. I knew about the No Contact Rule. I knew I wasn’t supposed to call him, but I felt compelled to do so. I mean, I was used to calling the man first thing in the morning!

What I had to realize was that I was going to fail the No Contact Rule if every time I sent him a text I beat myself up. When you make a big deal about something small, it tends to take control of your life. I mean, whatever you resist will persist.


What I Did When I Broke The No Contact Rule For The 27th Time (No, Seriously, 27 times!)
The first thing I did was accept the fact that applying this rule was going to be hard. I also had to accept that just because I gave in at a moment of weakness did not make me a weak person. I was and still am a strong person. And so are you. I learned to gradually phase in the No Contact Rule.  I couldn’t go cold turkey and quit my habit of calling and texting him, but I could limit the amount of times I did it in one day. That allowed me to build my tolerance to just a few times a week. Then, one day I sent out my final text message and I was done for good.

Final Thoughts
I broke the No Contact Rule when I first applied it too and I was still able to get over my ex. Don’t beat yourself up if you break it. Be gentle with yourself. It takes time getting used to not hearing from someone you normally talk to a million times a day.  Figure out what works best for you and apply it. Gradually, you will become more and more independent from contacting your ex and one day you will wake up without feeling the need to call them ever again. I know because I’ve been there and I believe that you can get there too.

Dream Interpretation: Dreams About My Ex - The Dillusional Nightmares

No one really knows why ours dreams have the content they do. Freud thought that our dreams were symbols of our secret wishes and desires. Jung thought our dreams were more transparent, and that we could read off our wishes and desires directly from the dream content.

Dreams as Nonsense Narratives

In the 1970s, Harvard psychiatrist Allan Hobson argued that our dreams are narratives our cognitive brains string together to explain electric pulses and biochemical changes coming from the pons in the mid brain that control REM sleep.
Hobson's theory, however, was refuted when it became known that people with damages to the mid brain had dreams but no REM sleep, and that people with damages to the frontal part of the brain had REM sleep but no dreams.

Dreams as Meaningful Narratives

The most viable dream theories today is that dreams are produced in the cortical areas of the brain. They involve sensory areas (e.g., the visual cortex) and areas of the frontal lobe responsible for motivation and goal-directed behavior.
One particular area of the brain seems essential to dream creation and that is the dopamine pathway. This pathway transmits the neurotransmitter dopamine from deeper brain areas to the frontal areas. When this pathway is damaged, people have no dreams. Conversely, when this pathway is stimulated with dopamine-like drugs such as L-DOPA (used for Parkinson's), then the intensity and frequency of people's dreams increase. Low levels of serotonin are also shown to be correlated with dream intensity.

Dreams and Obsession

The neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin are exactly those involved in love obsessions and obsessive-compulsive disorders. During a love obsession dopamine levels tend to be high and serotonin levels tend to be low.
So, if you are experiencing particularly vivid dreams, this could indicate that even though you don't feel pain anymore, you are still obsessing over your ex.
Our dreams tend to be created out of bits and pieces of our most recent experiences and the things we have been thinking the most about. So, while you may think you are over your ex, your brain is probably still processing the whole thing, and this then shows up in your dream contents.
To get rid of your dreams you need to stop obsessing over your ex. Suppressing your memories of him or you pain won't do the trick. You need to sever the link between your memories of him and your current emotions.

Obsession - Obsessing over your ex, dreams and missing the only thing you know... or knew


A male   age 18-21, anonymous writes:
Has anyone really had dreams about there ex's? We broke up over a year and a half ago, I still have dreams about her. These dreams are not sexual in any way just friendly dreams where we are just doing something together or things which we use to do together when we were together as a couple. Now usually it wouldn't bother me that much, well at first it usually didn't bother me. But now that it has gone on for so long, I just wake up after having the dream, missing her. Am I obsessed with her because I dream of her? Or is this usually what happens when someone breaks up with you? Please help.

Also whats the difference between loving someone and being obsessed with them?

===========
Comments:
A male reader, LovelessAct1 United States + , writes (22 November 2010):
I wouldn't say its an obsession by any means. You simply miss her its safe to say.



However it'd be best for you to try and get over this. If its been over for this long, try and get out and meet more people. Eventually you'll find a new woman to captivate your attention and your dreams :) Good luck.
<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, Simply Jane2011 Dominican Republic +, writes (22 November 2010):
Simply Jane2011 agony auntWel, Dreams are very hard to understand, after all dreams are basicly things that are just at the back of your mind,

or it could be a sign to move on, I have dreams about my ex (been seperated for 8 months). What i can possibly suggest is that you need closure, or accept it and find something that you like to take your time up, the less you think about her the better.



2. the difference between Love and Obsession, There is a huge difference between the two. Obsession is basicly something that isnt good, you constantly think about them, you constantly want to know what they are doing, whats new with them, calling all the time, wanting to be with them.

Love on the other hand is something completley diferent. You enjoy the time that you have with the, its a feeling, something that exsists between two human beings, there are two types of love, one is the love you have for your fsmily and love your partner,this love is the hardest to find, but when you get it it is something completley amazing
<-- Rate this answer

...............................   
A reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010):
I dont think your obsessed with her i think its normal, I think a lot people dream of there ex's its because there on your mind- what there doing, who there with, or the times you had, its normal. You can dream about a bestfriend you had but havent talked to in years it doesnt mean your obsessed with them it just means you miss them.



If however, you want her back then you should just do everything you can to do so and if it still doesnt work you know you did EVERYTHING you possibly could. But some people arent worth your energy, you have to decide if she has wronged you enough to say to yourself: you'll always love her and thats that, theres no changing that you love her you just have to move forward theres many people you will love in life you just dont know it yet cause your heart might be closed to finding someone new in which case you cant. When you stop trying, it will happen and will be better than you expected.



Obsession is when you absolutely have "tunnel vision" when you cant see the wrongs in another person you can only see the rights which is unrealistic because they are not perfect. Compulsive behavior like checking there facebook myspace or anything else to see "what there up to" as an excuse. Accusing them of things they havent done, being depressed, drinking, smoking, or drugs to mask the pain, thats when your obsessed and its very dangerous. If your doing any of these things your probably obsessed but if your just dreaming of her- thats fine and normal; your not obsessed. When you love someone you simply live in the comfort of knowing that you love, and they do too most likely but life goes on-if your meant to be you will be. You have to move on from them

Dreams About Your Ex: The Nightmares and Dillusions - What They Mean

It is normal for a person dream about their ex after a break up. However, if you are constantly having bad dreams about your ex, how are you going to move on with your life?

Well, you’ve got to get rid of them not only physically but also mentally and emotionally as well.


Some people feel that dreams are an entry point to your subconscious mind. Your dreams are a manifestation of what your subconscious mind has recorded and plays over and over.


Some people see dreams as a way through which our minds visualize something that we want to do or have but cannot. Since you ex is very familiar to you or may be closer to you than anyone else before, they are being represented as the character that you want however you cannot be with in your dream.

Still In Love
Often we dream about our exes because we are still in love with them and they are a dominant thought when we are awake. It is normal to dream about being with your ex because you are always thinking of them. When you are ready to move on, your ex will make fewer appearances in your dreams.

Emotional Baggage



Your dreams about your ex may reveal emotional baggage that you may not necessarily be ready to unpack. Maybe you are having regrets about the relationship and how the relationship ended abruptly.

If you are having bad dreams of your ex, this could be a reflection of your own fears and insecurities. We all tend to second-guess ourselves. These dreams may bring on feelings of self-doubt about your break and may motivate you to seek to reconnect with your ex.

Your dream might be a representation of the power struggle that exists in heartbreak. Your ex has power over you right now. The dreams that you have about them are just another way that they are still controlling your life even though they are not around.

There are still some emotions lingering from your break up and you are expressing these emotions in your dreams. You need to address these emotions head on and they will no longer after your dreams.

Dreams Are Dreams


Sometimes a dream is just a dream and it means nothing more, nothing less.  means that something in your subconscious mind is bringing  your ex to the forefront of your mind and it doesn’t necessarily mean it has anything to do with him at all but just as its translated into your dreams.

Don’t get too worked up over it! Focus on healing your heartbreak and moving on and you will be okay.




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