Karel Kryl - Jeřabiny

Pod tmavočervenými jeřabinami
zahynul motýl mezi karabinami,
zástupce pro týl šlápl na běláska,
zahynul motýl jako naše láska,
zahynul motýl jako naše láska.

Na břehu řeky roste tráva ostřice,
prý přišli včas, však vtrhli jako vichřice,
nad tichou zemí vrčí netopýři
a národ němý tlučou oficíři,
a národ němý tlučou oficíři.

Na nebi měsíc jako koláč s tvarohem,
koupím si láhev rumu v krčmě za rohem,
budeš se líbat v noci s cizím pánem,
já budu zpívat zpitý s kapitánem,
já budu zpívat zpitý s kapitánem.

=-=-

Under dark red rowan
butterfly died between karabiners,
representative for the rear stepped on běláska,
died butterfly as our love,
died butterfly as our love.

On the banks of the river sedge grass grows,
apparently came early, but stormed like a whirlwind,
above the quiet country growls bats
dumb people and beat officers,
dumb people and beat officers.

The sky as the moon cake with cream cheese,
buy a bottle of rum in a pub around the corner,
to kiss you at night with a foreign master,
I will sing with a drunk captain
I will sing with a drunk captain.

Love Hurts, & Men Feel The Pain Longer

Check out what our neighbors to the north have discovered: men are about twice as likely to report depression stemming from divorce than women.

According to the AFP news agency, men aged 20 to 64 who had divorced or separated were six times more likely to report an episode of depression than those who remained married, according to Statistics Canada. Women, however, were only 3.5 times more likely to have had a bout of depression after a marital breakup than those still in a relationship.

Neither the study nor the news report on it gave any real indication of why this was. What would have been interesting is if they paired these statistics with ones on who initiates divorce and reasons cited for the split. I wonder, for example, if women are initiating the divorces more because of cheating spouses and the like. In which case they are probably six times more likely to be pissed off after divorce than men. Or hey, vice versa.

But do check out that little happy nugget of news at the bottom. Turns out it takes only four years to get over the complete and utter devastation of losing the person you love. Well sheesh, if they can solve that one, now can they tell us how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?


The Break Up Girl can offer solutions and advice for both men and women, whether together, apart, or working on it.

http://www.breakupgirl.net/advice/moveon.html

After the break-up, your "first love" never really leaves you, according to student research at UC Berkeley

   

After the break-up, your "first love" never really leaves you, according to student research at UC Berkeley

07 Feb 2001

By Kathleen Scalise, Media Relations

Berkeley - Whether your heart belongs to anyone this Valentine's Day may depend on what happened the first time you fell in love.

This new finding, by University of California, Berkeley, graduate student Jennifer Beer, challenges the notion commonly held since Freud that the stability of the parent-child relationship sets the stage for attachment later in life.

With romance, said Beer, "Some of the problems you have in the romantic domain may have more to do with your first love than with your parents." She based her work on the first-love stories of 303 UC Berkeley undergraduates, mostly juniors, collected in 1997.

By "first love," Beer doesn't mean a childhood crush on a teacher or movie star, but the first real relationship of a romantic nature between two individuals, often experienced in adolescence or early adult years. Those who remember the experience positively are more likely to consider themselves securely attached to their current romantic partners, she said, and to perceive their romantic partners as securely attached to them.

She now is looking at how such recent and distant "vivid" representations of self and partner are stored in different memory systems in the brain and what this might reveal about self-perception.

"Vivid memories are very detailed, self-defining, something you recall a lot, stories and anecdotes you dwell on or tell all the time," Beer said.

In the case of first love, such memories often range from bittersweet but fond - perhaps recollections of a poignant puppy love tinged with regard or regret for a long-ago sweetheart - to deeply painful, soul-crushing experiences.

Whatever happened, "it can set you up as thinking, 'This is what I am like as a relationship partner,' " Beer said.

People who recollect their first romantic experience as involving good feelings, for instance, citing memories of happiness, excitement, strength, inspiration, pride and enthusiasm, were more likely to be in stable relationships years later than those recalling hostility, upset, stress, guilt, fright or shame, Beer found.

"First love relationships often break up. So people say, 'What do you mean, good feelings? It was a breakup,' " she said. "But even though the relationship ended, which seems like it might be negative, the vivid memories surrounding the experience can be good or bad."

As an example of a good experience, Beer cited one respondent who suffered greatly because her former boyfriend dated other women immediately after their relationship ended. But, prior to that, the experience had been a positive taste of what love could be, and the woman learned what made her happy in a relationship.

Alternatively, Beer described a stormier experience that left the respondent years later with the unshakeable suspicion that all men were untrustworthy.

"This is wrong, but I cannot help myself," the respondent commented. "One negative experience has been enough to change my entire outlook on men."

Beer identified four patterns of perception surrounding relationships:

* Secure - A secure, positive sense of both self and partner in a relationship.

* Dismissive -A positive sense of self, but not of partner.

* Preoccupied - A positive sense of partner, but not of self.

* Fearful - Negative recollections of both.

Those with memories of positive emotion and outcomes from their first relationship "were more likely to have positive views of self and others in romantic relationships," Beer said. "Those with more negative emotions and outcome were more likely to show one of the other three patterns."

 http://berkeley.edu/news/media/releases/2001/02/07_love.html

Break Up - Love Quotes: Moving On & Letting Go Of Your Love

Sometimes the cards we are dealt are not always fair. However you must keep smiling & moving on

Moving on, is a simple thing, what it leaves behind is hard.

To be able to move on, one has to learn to forgive not only the person (or people) who have done one wrong but also oneself

By forgiving and choosing to move on, one takes the power back to morph it into positive energy.

Life is about making the right decisions and moving on.

Forgiveness and letting go are steps on our road back to happiness.

That time plus distance equaled moving on from your ex.

What's the point of pointing the finger, other than to stall your own progress in moving on?

If you're serious about moving on in your life, all you have to do at this point is be willing to have your path be an enlightened one.

The fact is you can't escape the past by moving on, it just moves with you.

Often the thought of pain is actually worse that the pain itself.

You are responsible for your life. You can't keep blaming somebody else for your dysfunction. Life is really about moving on.

Take a second out to think about this: in your life you search and search for the right person for you. Every time you break up with someone you get one step closer to that person. You should look at moving on as getting closer to meeting the one.

Quietly forgiving and moving on is a gift to God ~ and yourself.

When you start to abandoning your old beliefs or values... you may be stuck at the threshold for two or three years. Before moving on, you have to clear away your cherished beliefs.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but simply moving on with dignity despite that fear.

You may have buried or repressed your own power for so long a time that you feel incapable of moving on without the strength and support of a lover, even the lover you just left behind.

Drinking, eating, shopping,revenge,,rebound sex,drugs or whatever your poison may be will number the pain - but that's all.

If you bury the pain deep down it will stay with you indefinitely, but if you open yourself to it, experience it, and deal with it head-on, you'll find it begins to move on after a while.

one shot at a time and then move on. Remember that golf is just

The art of war is simple enough. Find out where your enemy is. Get at him as soon as you can. Strike him as hard as you can and as often as you can, and keep moving on.

A graduation is a small but significant tradition that I think everyone should take part in. What a great way to symbolize a part of your journey and to represent your thoughts for moving on.

Moving On has allowed me to know who I am and to be present in all that I do. I take this forward in my work and in my personal relationships. It is a powerful program and I highly recommend it to anyone wanting to move on with their life.

If someone you love hurts you cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it.

Letting go doesn't mean giving up... it means moving on. It is one of the hardest things a person can do. Starting at birth, we grasp on to anything we can get our hands on, and hold on as if we will cease to exist when we let go. We feel that letting go is giving up, quitting, and that as we all know is cowardly. But as we grow older we are forced to change our way of thinking. We are forced to realize that letting go means accepting things that cannot be. It means maturing and moving on, no matter how hard you have to fight yourself to do so.

Read more: http://www.finestquotes.com/select_quote-category-Moving on-page-0.htm#ixzz1fzkm8Z7Q

Knowing how to let go of someone you love is tough, but you’re not alone if you’re holding on to the past! It’s hard to let go, my friend.

These tips for letting go and moving on apply to all types of loss, and include resources for healing a broken heart.

Before the tips, a quip:
“Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting them back together.” ~ Unknown.

This is one of my favorite quotations on letting go because it’s true – sometimes it’s worse (in the long run) to try to get back together. Sometimes you need to keep forging ahead, and learn to survive heartbreak.

Here are a few tips for letting go of someone you love…

How to Let Go of Someone You Love

If you feel hopeless and depressed, read 75 Ways to Let Go of Someone You Love. I interviewed psychologists, life coaches, counselors, and grief experts on the best ways to cope with and heal from loss.

Remember both the good and the bad parts of the relationship

When you’ve lost someone you love, it’s easy to focus on the great parts of your relationship and life together. But, there was a reason you broke up — maybe even several reasons! Don’t ignore the “bad” parts of the relationship and idealize the best parts…instead, keep reminding yourself that you’re letting go of the past because holding on to it isn’t good for you.

Accept that your loss may always hurt or confuse you

Some things, we never ever get over — but we can still live full, rewarding lives and achieve our goals! Part of letting go of someone you love is accepthing that you may never have all the answers. For instance, my sister cut me out of her life five years ago. She told me she didn’t want to speak to me again and wouldn’t tell me why. That was the ultimate lesson in powerlessness and letting go…and that’s why I wrote Letting Go of Someone You Love.

Accept your lack of control over other people

No matter how “good”, smart, helpful, giving, or attractive you are, you can’t control other people. If they leave you, they have their reasons…and sometimes those reasons have nothing to do with you. The sooner you accept your lack of control, the easier it’ll be to let go of someone you love.

Rebuild yourself

Your losses, heartbreaks, setbacks, and disappointments have made you a different person — a better, more unique, more compassionate person! Instead of mourning what was or what could have been, start something new in your life. Think about what goals you should set for your life. Volunteer, take a solo vacation, join a new gym, take a night class, join a support group, check out a new social club, quit your job, and set new life goals. Rebuild your life — set new life goals.

Remember that letting go of love doesn’t happen overnight

Letting go of the past isn’t something you do once – and poof! You’re free, healed, and happy! Rather, letting go is a journey peppered with steps forward and steps backward, good days and bad days. I grew up in foster homes, and was constantly saying hello and good-bye to new families, friends, and cities. I learned how to love, let go, and open my heart to love again. And I’ve survived those heart-wrenching, gut-twisting breakups that slam you to the ground and rip you to pieces. Letting go is a process that takes time.

Why Do Women Break Up With Men?

http://www.datingdynamics.com/dating-tips-for-men-articles/why-do-women-break-up-with-men.php

When I first started dating, I had good luck in finding women, but lousy luck in keeping them.

I found myself wondering why do women break up with men, anyway?

- Is it my looks?

- Is it my money?

- Is it my job?

Tell me if one of these situations sounds familiar...

DATING DISASTER 1:

In the first situation, I'd go out on a date with a girl, and everything would seem to be going pretty cool. She was digging me, I was digging her.

And there was usually no problem getting that kiss at the end, once I got past the butterflies in my stomach.

Then, I'd call her back the next day (don't women want that?) and I'd never get her, just her voicemail. I'd leave a message, telling her how I had a great time and wanted to see her again.

And then she wouldn't call.

I'd wait for a day or two and try her back again, and if I finally did get her, the conversation would go something like this:

ME: "Hey..."

HER: "Hey." (Not very excited. And I'd feel my stomach sink.)

ME: "Uh, I just thought I'd call and say hello. See how you were doing..."

HER: "Oh, yeah, I'm doing great. Look, I can't really talk right now - I'm hanging out with a friend."

ME: "Oh, uh, okay. Call you later?"

HER: "Sure thing. Talk to you later..."

-- CLICK --

And then later on I'd get an email about how she thinks we should "just be friends."

ARRRRRGH!

What about this situation...

DATING DISASTER 2:

You go out on a date with a girl, and things seem great. You go out on a 2nd and 3rd date, and everything seems pretty fun and cool. Heavy duty makeout sessions...

Ah, it's bliss.

Then, you decide it's time for the "BIG MOVE™."

You invite her over for dinner at YOUR house.

Candles.

Music.

Wine.

Good food.

You're all set. You've even got a condom under the mattress for the "right moment."

Sure enough, she comes over. But you feel a strange vibe as she comes in and gives you a peck on the cheek. Things are a little cooler than before.

You ignore it and go on with the dinner. After the food and wine is done, you go to the living room to chill and hang out on the couch.

You try to get her warmed up, start a little kissing, but she's not as into it as before. She might even throw out the "it's my time of the month" excuse.

Before you know it, she's got an "early day tomorrow," and she has to get going.

I mean, you don't want to admit to yourself that this happened, but it did, and you keep wondering...

WHAT THE HELL DID I DO WRONG?

And then I'd immediately wonder...

WHY do women break up with men like this?

It's frustrating, isn't it?

That's kind of an understatement. It's a real pisser is what it is.

Let's talk about the reasons, but first, you should understand something...

Dating a woman is kind of like driving a car. It takes some work to get it started and moving, but once you get it up to speed, you want to just let it coast under its own power.

You want to click the "cruise control" and just let it riiiiide...

One of the problems here is that dating and attraction has no "cruise control."

And the other problem is that if you don't keep your foot on that gas, you will slow down to nothing when the first hill comes along.

Think of dating "gas" as being the excitement and fun you put into it.

That's all a woman needs to keep feeling that "spark" with you.

I'm going to come back to this one.

Now, let's answer the Big Question: Why do women break up with men?

REASON #1) She found another guy.

Well, this really isn't a reason the way most guys think it is. You see, a woman doesn't want another guy if the one she's with is doing the right things and challenging her.

(Mind you that we're assuming that the woman is stable and doesn't have a major character flaw that leads her to cheating.)

I found out - the hard way - that a woman has NO problem cheating on her boyfriend if she feels that he's not living up to his end of the deal. Meaning, he isn't doing all the things the new guy is to make her feel unique and attractive.

She will feel JUSTIFIED in cheating, in fact. She won't even see it as cheating. She'll see it as self-preservation.

I'm not trying to make women out to be evil here. Guys do the exact same thing - just for slightly different reasons.

I'm going to talk about this again in a minute... Let's move on.

REASON #2) She's exceptionally smart and emotionally mature, and she realizes that you're not what she's looking for in a long term relationship.

Hmmm.

This one doesn't happen often, in my experience, even though it really ought to.

The reality is that when I finally "got it" and understood that you can very easily get a woman so addicted to having you around (because you're giving her what no other guy seems to be able to, other than the unstable "bad boys" out there), you'll have the very real problem of women staying with you even when it's not a good match.

But, as we say, that's a High Quality Problem, huh?

In other words, if I'm going to have a problem, that's a good kind to have.

So while I'm including this as Reason 2 here, the reality is that it's not going to happen if you follow my strategies for building attraction.

REASON #3) You STOPPED doing all the things that got her attracted to you in the first place.

In other words, you let the attraction energy die out.

I could write books and books on this topic...

The fact of the matter is that guys typically put in a lot of energy to get things started with a woman, don't we?

We have to approach her (tell me that isn't agony...)

We have to brave the fear of rejection...

We have to get her number...

We have to call her up and ask her out...

We have to make the plans for the date...

We have to keep escalating things until we can sleep with her...

Hey, that's a lot of work! But we don't mind because it's the thrill of the chase.

But after you've conquered her, this is typically where the average guy lets off that gas and expects the woman to take over. And many women DO take over...

... for a time.

Eventually, though, she becomes resentful that she feels like SHE is doing all the work, and she starts to withdraw. Eventually, she'll either cheat, or she'll just break up with you.

Just remember, there's always a guy out there waiting to do whatever it is you stopped doing to attract your woman.

Look, I'm not saying a woman is justified here, but you have to be realistic. If you weren't doing your work at your job, would you REALLY be surprised if your boss came to you one day and said, "We're terribly sorry, but you haven't been doing your duties. We've found a replacement for you. You're fired."

Cheating sucks, and it's the most painful lesson in the world. But when you clear away all the emotional fog, you'll usually see that there were signs WAY long ago.

There's a rule you must remember:

CARLOS XUMA'S RULE: A woman will NOT leave a man she doesn't feel like she's completely WON.

This is BIG time important! I can't tell you how much that one tip has made ALL the difference in my dating. After I learned it, women stopped breaking up with me. Then it was MY choice to stay with her or not.

I'm not some kind of control freak or something here, but if there's a choice between being the guy that gets dumped, and the guy that does the dumping - I choose to be the guy that breaks up with her.

I suspect you'd rather be that guy, too.

So let's stop "wrongful termination" in its tracks.

Remember that if you focus on ONE area of your connection with women, you'll eliminate about 90% of all the issues you'll ever run into.

That one area is ENERGY.

In my model of attraction called "REAL Game," R.E.A.L. stands for:

R= Relaxed & Resourceful
E= Effective & Energized
A= Alpha & Authentic
L= Lifestyle & Lasting

These are the essential ingredients of your game that create MASSIVE attraction with women - if you know how to use them.

Notice the "E" = Energized.

This is the one area that many guys think of as being the "entertainer," or the life of the party, or Mr. Excitement.

Well, this isn't true. It's actually a technique that you apply in different ways and at different times. And I'll be talking about this more in the upcoming videos and newsletters.

Remember, a woman's definition of "romance" is the same as a guy's. It's simply "fun..."

And remember my rule:

A woman will NOT leave a man she doesn't feel like she's completely WON.
 

If you want to learn how to be the Alpha Man - the man that women never break up with - I've got another article (and a program) you will probably want to see.

The one sure fire way to keep a woman attracted to you is to show her an Alpha Male that has the confidence and attitude that she wants to experience...

Joe Cocker - You Are So Beautiful

There is just no other,  no face, voice, hair, soul, or being that I see as having any beauty at all.

It's just too late for my recovery of what was lost due to lack of recognition.  For family and Anna, all so much beauty, once clouded by life's overwhelming demands and my confusion.

====================

Eric Clapton & Joe Cocker You Are So Beautiful Live ARMS '83

Brent Amaker and The Rodeo - You Ain´t Savin Me

Brent Amaker & the Rodeo - When Love Gets to a Man

Gregory Alan Isakov - If I Go I'm Goin

If I Go, I'm Goin

Album: This Empty Northern Hemisphere

this house

she’s holding secrets

i got my change behind the bed

in a coffee can,

i throw my nickels in

just incase i have to leave

and i will go if you ask me to

i will stay if you dare

and if i go i’m goin shameless

i’ll let my hunger take me there

this house

she’s quite the talker

she creeks and moans

she keeps me up

and the photographs

know i’m a liar

they just laugh as i burn her down

and i will go if you ask me to

i will stay if you dare

and if i go i’m goin on fire

let my anger take me there

the shingles man they’re shaking

the back door’s burning through

this house she’s quite the keeper

quite the keeper of you

i will go if you ask me to

i will stay if you dare

and if i go, i’m goin crazy

i’ll let my darlin take me there

(gregory alan isakov, johann wagner, john elliot)

gregory alan isakov

http://www.gregoryalanisakov.com

 from Californication, Season 4 Episode 04.

Download link: http://www.4shared.com/audio/2sT4qmS8

Brent Amaker & The Rodeo - Doomed

Brent Amaker and the Rodeo is an American Country Western band from Seattle, Washington consisting of Brent Amaker, Tiny Dancer, Sugar McGuinn, Ben Strehle, and Bryan Crawford.

Brent Amaker and the Rodeo formed in Seattle, Washington, in 2005. The band’s image recalls influential country musician Johnny Cash, ‘The Man in Black’, as they dress head-to-toe in black with matching Stetson hats and cowboy boots. They are billed as influenced by art rock performers Devo and glam rock’s David Bowie.

Much emphasis is put into the band’s image as evidenced by a large collection of photos and music videos done by the band, fans, and photographers and videographers. The Rodeo have a cinematic quality and are often put in context of spaghetti western films made by Sergio Leone and Ennio Morricone.

Their concerts often feature a dancing girl from local burlesque troupes and a phenomenon only known as the “Whiskey Baptism” where Amaker welcomes new fans into the “Church of the Rodeo” by pouring shots of liquor into their mouths.

Recently, they have been gaining notoriety from their cover of “Pocket Calculator” by German electro-pioneers Kraftwerk.

They also performed in the indie slasher film “Punch” directed by Jay Cynik. Cynik also wrote a comic book based on the exploits of the band on tour called “Mescal de la Muerte.” Illustrated by Portland, Oregon artist, Simon Young, the graphic adult novel was included in their 2010 release “Please Stand By.
Doomed

The best country music expresses profound things in the commonest of terms, and these postmodern cowpokes do a decent job approaching that. “In the end/ We’re all doomed/ Even if you’re living/ On the moon” on “Doomed” comes off as just careless rather than an endearingly glib take on mortality. But based on the hooting and hollering from the band during the interlude before the last chorus, that’s not their main concern. If country music really is for the everyman, why shouldn’t songs about the apocalypse two-step in on nursery-rhyme couplets? – J. Arthur Bloom – Tiny Mix Tapes

Doomed was featured in the closing song of Showtime’s series finale of Weeds on September 26, 2011.

In the end We’re all doomed

Even if your livin’ on the moon

We’re all doomed.

Super volcano near

Even if we get out of here

We’re all doomed.

We’re doomed.

Enjoy your stay while you’re here

We’re Doomed.

So take this time to pass some love around

And tell your friends before they’re dead

Love is the only legacy you leave behind

Love is the only legacy you leave behind

And we’re all doomed

In the end We’re all doomed (yee haw)

Even if your livin’ on the moon

We’re all doomed.

How ’bout the big line across the sky

If it’s here we’re gonna die

Everyone dies

So take this time to pass some love around

And tell your friends before they’re dead

Love is the only legacy you leave behind

Love is the only legacy you leave behind (yes it is)

Love is the only legacy you leave behind

And we’re all doomed

Audio from the 2010 album, Please Stand By:

 The best country music expresses profound things in the commonest of terms, and these postmodern cowpokes do a decent job approaching that. "In the end/ We're all doomed/ Even if you're living/ On the moon" on "Doomed" comes off as just careless rather than an endearingly glib take on mortality. But based on the hooting and hollering from the band during the interlude before the last chorus, that's not their main concern. If country music really is for the everyman, why shouldn't songs about the apocalypse two-step in on nursery-rhyme couplets?

GG Allin - Outlaw ScumFuck & Bite It You Scum - YouTube

GG Allin - Outlaw ScumFuck & Bite It You Scum - YouTube





GG Allin - Outlaw ScumFuck & Bite It You Scum


How to Cope With Cheating Girlfriend

Have You Been Cheated On

A little murdurous compilation I made using film footage from Beware (2011), Guy loses his job and boozes it up at a local, then heads home to catch his wife with her lover, and when she gets ballsy and reveals that he has fathered an illegitimate child, he reacts as he should in a world of better laws.

5 Healthy Tips to Handle The Inevitable Repercussions of Divorce

Loneliness is not just about your marriage ending, it is about all the aspects of your life that change.  You are separating from your partner of many years and that by itself can lead to loneliness.  But because your entire life is structured around your marriage, it impacts all your relationships. Going from a married couple to a single person affects your relationships with your family, in-laws, friends and most social circles that you have enjoyed during your married life.  Finding yourself suddenly single can feel alien and isolating.

Perhaps your family doesn’t understand or your in-laws feel too angry or uncomfortable to continue their relationship with you.  If you have children of any age, they too are reacting to the changing circumstances, some moving closer to you while others may push away, side with the other parent or just isolate themselves.  Your friends may be uncomfortable not knowing who to give their loyalty to or stop inviting you to events that are attended by all married couples.

You need to talk in order to process all that is going on, but soon feel that you are burdening your closest friends; that they are getting tired of hearing your story.  You may also feel like you are so sad or angry that you are depressing to be around and might be pushing away the few friends you have.  You may feel more like staying under the covers or watching TV on weekends instead of getting out of the house and doing something.  Or you may be working so hard to just make ends meet, that you have no time or energy to socialize anymore.

Because divorce is also wrought with feelings such as sadness, frustration, anger and fear, you are already ripe for isolating yourself due to depression.  Add to this your changing circumstances and you can easily find yourself secluded from friends and family that truly want to be there for you.

How do you navigate these difficult times honoring your feelings and need to grieve yet protecting yourself from isolation and the depression that can follow?

1.  Honor your feelings with time and patience.  It is healthy and essential that you go through the grieving process. These feelings are not going to last forever, but it is where you are and need to be right now. You need time to feel your feelings and process all that is happening in your life.  If used well, this can be a time of healing and self reflection.  You can get to know yourself, how you ended up in this situation, what your part in it is and how you can begin to learn from your struggle and become a healthier person.

2.   Create a healthy support network.  Take a look at all your relationships and decide who the healthiest people are to help you through this.  Who will keep the focus on you instead of joining you in bashing your ex?  Who will give you the support and encouragement you need when you are in fear and anxiety about your future?  Also join a Divorce Support Group.  Being around others who are going through the same life transition as you will be very healing.  You will see that you are not alone in your fears or feelings.  This is also a great place to begin new friendships.  Check out local groups or go towww.meetup.com and see if there are any groups in your area.

3.  Take care of yourself.  Eat right and get some exercise.  Go for a daily walk.  Have a cup of tea or coffee with a friend.  Take up a hobby or take a class (yoga, carpentry, writing, pottery).  Do something special with your kids.  Make sure that you are on your priority list.  Now is the time to give yourself the attention you need.  Just like healing a physical wound, it is critical that you give yourself time to heal your emotions and that requires downtime and attention to your self.

4.   Begin to create new goals.  Look forward instead of back.  This might mean painting and redecorating your home, taking up a new interest, planning a vacation or joining a social group (ie. biking club, book club) to begin recreating your life.  This can be an exciting time to ask yourself what dreams and aspirations you put on the back burner that you would like to dust off and give a try.

5.   Take the focus off of yourself.  This may mean helping your children, supporting someone else going through a difficult time or volunteering for a local cause that is close to your heart.  By shifting the focus away from your stuff, you begin to feel helpful and find gratitude for what you do have instead of focusing on what you no longer have.

Share your struggles and successes around loneliness with us.  We want to hear your story

Break Up - Salvaging A Lost Cause: Is there any hope of reconciliation?

I sit any consanty adk, "Is there any hope of reconciliation?"    

You are on the verge of breaking up, but you know you both still really love each other. While there is not much hope left of salvaging the relationship, you sometimes find yourself thinking about how much you would like to start again. The trouble is you have no idea how to start, or even if it is possible.

If the above scenario sounds familiar, then how did it go so wrong? By now you know that there is a lot of resentment between you, but how did you both let it get so far? Everyone makes mistakes and has done things that they regret. The problem is that once you start making mistakes and doing things wrong, the natural inclination is to cover your tracks.

Dishonesty and lies lead to feelings of guilt and resentment. Feelings of guilt and resentment lead to more lies and arguments. Once you start to get sucked in, this vicious circle kicks in and the lies and arguments start to build on each other. Pretty soon you start justifying your actions. How? By blaming your partner: they don't understand you, they are too snippy and argumentative, and they don't love you anymore. When this happens on both sides of the relationship, you are on a fast track to a breakup or divorce.

In order to turn this around, it is going to take a lot of soul-searching and communication. You have to rebuild the trust between the two of you and let your partner know without a doubt that you love them and are willing to take responsibility for your actions. Even if the relationship cannot be completely salvaged, you will at least make the breakup easier on both of you.

The first thing to do is to realize that there was a time when you really loved each other. Think back to how you felt when you first met or first realized that you had romantic feelings for your partner. Try to go back and actually re-experience those feelings. How your heart skipped a beat whenever you saw them or even thought of them. Think of some of the really good times you had together, when you were happy. Realize that at one stage there really was something special between the two of you and it is at least worth trying to salvage the relationship.

Next, really take a look at all the things you did wrong. Don't fall into the trap of blaming your partner for everything, you played a big part in it too, and at this stage you really need to concentrate only on your actions. It would be a great idea to get a sheet of paper and right everything down. The point of this excercise is to release some of the guilt and resentment you feel towards your partner. In order for it to work, you have to come clean - at least to yourself!

Thirdly, write a letter to your love. Explain to them that you are really sorry about the way things turned out and that you realize that you have had a huge part to play in the fact that the relationship turned sour. Talk about how you felt when you first fell in love and remind them of all the great things that have happened to you while you have been together. In order for them to trust your sincerity, however, you are probably going to have to tell them some of the things you have done that you are ashamed of. The important thing is to take responsibility for your actions, let your partner know how how you feel about them and make sure you tell them that you would really like the chance to make it up to them. Invite them on a special date, for just the two of you, so you can sit down together and clear the air, and at the very least, part as friends.

Once you have completed the above, it is really up to the two of you to sit down and discuss things to see if you have a future together. Don't try to rush things, as trust can take time to build again. But, if you at least come clean about how you feel and make an appeal to your partner's heart, you have a better chance of making it than if you didn't.

Why High-Functioning Alcoholics Need Help

What is the problem with being a high-functioning alcoholic? This is a question that has been posed several times to me and has probably crossed the minds of others. Although the term "high-functioning" has a positive connotation, the reality is that the diagnosis of "alcoholic" is also present. High-functioning alcoholics (HFAs) have the disease of alcoholism-which is lifelong, chronic, progressive, and potentially fatal.

The fact that HFAs may be succeeding professionally or academically does not negate that they are alcoholic and need to get help. Similarly, if a person was diagnosed with Diabetes 1 but appears to be managing their life well and looks healthy that does not mean that they should not take their insulin or seek medical treatment.

A large part of why HFAs continue drinking alcoholically without interventions from loved ones or colleagues is due to of the power of denial. This denial can manifest in many ways including thoughts such as: "I have a great job, pay my bills and have lots of friends, therefore I am not an alcoholic," "I am doing really well academically and am involved in so many activities, I cannot be an alcoholic," "I am wealthy and drink expensive wine, I could not possibly be an alcoholic," "I have not hit a ‘bottom', so I cannot be an alcoholic," "Everyone at work drinks like me, so I am not an alcoholic," and many more. Societal stereotypes of the "typical" alcoholic can also contribute to HFAs minimizing their own problem.

Although HFAs may project a well put-together façade, they can still be placing themselves in danger in many ways including but not limited to: drinking and driving, having risky sexual encounters, blacking out, damaging their reputation, etc. They may have been able to avoid serious trouble professionally or personally to a certain degree however, it will be only a matter of time before their "luck" runs out and their alcoholism will lead to problems. HFAs are also placing their own health at risk as well as the emotional health of their family because they are not seeking assistance.

HFAs are essentially "masters of disguise" who not only fool those around them but also themselves. This does not detract from the fact that they are alcoholics who need help in getting sober just as much as lower functioning alcoholics.

More information on this topic is available in my new book:                                                      Understanding the High-Functioning Alcoholic: Professional Views and Personal Insights.

Skinhead Girl - Songs, Music & Videos

Skinhead Girl - Music & Videos
I always find it a pain in the ass to find some good skin girl songs for those of us who made the mistakes and lost a good one. 




# 1 FAVORITE !
Original Skin Music

Skinhead Girl by: Symarip

Evil Conduct- My Skinhead Girl

Evil Conduct (HOL) (2002) Eye For An Eye

http://www.4shared.com/file/3hOMyiHe/Evil_Conduct__HOL__-__2002__Ey.htm?aff=7637829

Evil Conduct Sorry No!

http://www.4shared.com/file/cLeKj7vT/Evil_Conduct_-_Sorry_No.htm?aff=7637829

Skinhead Girl

Skinhead Girl ... (1)

Skinhead Girl... (2)

Skinhead Girl ... (3)

Skinhead Girls

More 

Skinhead Girls

Bad Manners LIVE: 

Skinhead Girl

The Specials - Hey Little Rich Girl

Bad Manners - Skinhead Love Affair

curusbun skingirls

skinhead girl