Ten Ways Fathers Model Healthy Relationships for Their Children

Research shows consistently what children know intuitively: Fathers are important.

Children learn how men should behave in relationships by watching their fathers. Even if you do not live with their mother, they are keenly aware of the way you interact with her.

 Most divorce anddomestic violence happens to men and women who grew up without a father modeling healthy relationship behavior.

Here are 10 tips to help you model the way you want your daughter to be treated in her adult relationships, and the way you want your son to treat the woman he loves.

• Value their mother: Children value themselves and others more when they feel that their mother and father value one another.

• Perspective-taking (seeing things through someone else's eyes): Show your children the importance of respecting the perspectives of people they love, even when they disagree with them.

• Cooperation: Show how to participate willingly in work, problem-solving, or task-accomplishment.

• Negotiation: Show your children how to work out solutions to problems that respect one another's perspectives.

• Motivation to improve: Approach everything, including disagreements, with the attitude of making things better, not worse.

• Compassion: This gut-level reaction to their mother's pain, discomfort, or anxiety includes sympathy, protectiveness, and willingness to help but not control. It recognizes that their mother is different from you, with her own temperament, set of experiences, beliefs, values, and preferences.

• Good will: Learning a positive attitude toward the people they love will greatly improve your children's chances of having good relationships as adults.

• Affection: Showing affection toward their mother makes children feel more secure.

• Relationship investment: Successful relationships require that people care about - do good things for - one another.

• Protection: Loved ones support and protect one another.